|Posted by Sara Moore on 30 November, 2014 at 18:40|
Every year when I decorate my Christmas tree I think of my mom and I chat with her as I pull the ornaments out of the box she so carefully packed them in before she died. She didn't know she was going to die that following June. Her last Christmas she had just had surgery and was having a tough recovery, so the fact that she packed up every ornament for every year of my life and gave it to me was such a blessing. When she died the following June I had my history tucked in a box in my basement.
My memories of Christmas are varied. We had a stairway from the kitchen to the upstairs that we always used, but then there was another that came up from the the living room and was just to the right of my bedroom door. When I was little I was pretty sure this is where the vampires came to kill me, but in December it was my secret spot to watch for Santa.
The living room of my parents house was where Christmas happened. With greens placed along the tops of windows, mineolas (I think that's what they are... those little orange things that are wicked tart- or taht in MA), pinecones and babys breath rouding out the colors the house just felt warm. The dark bannister leading up to beside my room was adorned with garland made of pine, laced with red ribbon and a pineapple to welcome the people who visited. The tree was always in the living room closer to the stairway and diagonal from mom's upright piano. Two couches flanked the fireplace and it was where we always gathered. Not just because mom would put a huge glass bowl of lindt chocoates on the coffee table, although that may have been why we'd end up in there every now and then.
I can't say that I actually remember holidays in high school. Those times were tough for me. As I say that, I do remember them. And I don't want to relive them. College is when things got good. I'd come home and always bring my roommate Mandy and dorm mate Julie with me as an overnight stop on their way to CT. Mom was always so excited to have us home! We'd each cheese and crackers, drink wine and paint glass ball ornaments. Mom would play the piano and we'd dance and laugh. God that was a blast! I randomly hear from Mandy, but have no idea where Julie is these days. They'll forever be a part of my holiday tradition though! I laugh every time I put up the ornament I painted that has our names with "ho ho ho" above each of our names!
Theres an ornament I painted in 1982 with a sloppy snowman, surrounded in yellow that says "Frosty." Apparently I've been doing this a long time! My favorites include a delicate silver one that I got as a child, the golden snowflake, snoopy carrying a Christmas tree, the green pickle that was given to me by people I haven't spoken to in years, the ornaments I have bought for Z for the past 8 years, the silver bell from one of my first years, and the handmade ones Z has brought home from daycare, preschool and school. They each hold some significance for me. I even have a beautiful ornament that I was given by a colleague when I moved here in 1998. It's heavy and pulls on the branches, but it's a reminder of where I've been. I even have one given to me by a boyfriend in high school's grandmother! I knew her before I knew him and I always thought she was fabulous. The tree is more like a personal history book for me. It exudes memories of my past.
My mom died over 14 years ago. The first year I sobbed as I opened the box marked with her handwriting. I drank my way through the decorating process and I wondered how the hell I'd ever get through the first round of holidays. You know what? I did. And then, about 6 or 7 years later, I realized I didn't cry. Which made me cry even more. Now I tell Z the story behind the tree and he asks me a million questions. For any of you who know him know that's not an exageration. He really does ask a ton of questions! And I answer as many as I can with honesty and try to paint him a picture of my past and the grandmother he never met.
I realized today that my tree is getting more full every year. Z will be 9 on December 7th, and he is now accumulating his own starter set for when he's a grown up. It took me 29 years to get all the ones that were packed up by mom, so lord only knows how long I'll get to hang onto his. But when I'm long gone I hope that he looks back and enjoys the stories that have been passed down from generation to generation.
I miss you mom. Thank you for being here with me as I continue these traditions with my own family. Crazy little family unit that we are, but I know that because of you I value it for what it is. To those of you who've gifted me with ornaments over the years, know that I hold those memories close to my heart.
|Posted by Sara Moore on 19 November, 2014 at 19:50|
Today I had to take Sophie, our 9 year old yellow lab to the vets. She's been puking in the middle of the night for a while now and not only was I tired of cleaning it up, I was genuinely concerened for her health. Don't judge me on this. There's a back story I'm not sharing.
Anyway. She got to the vet, got out of the car quite happily, sat gleefully on the scale and then began shaking in the waiting room. Shaking to the point that her teeth were even chattering. I kept telling her the vet was just going to check her out, that she was fine, and that she wasn't in trouble. As I did that it was like she forgot to be nervous but it creeped back in and she'd start shaking again. She hopped up on the bench next to me and we waited.
As we sat there, a man and who I assumed was his son came in carrying a beautiful and huge husky. They told him that they'd get him right into a room and the staff hustled away. The dog was absoslutely gorgous. He put the dog on the floor and she sort of melted into it. A minute later a tech opened the door to room 6 and they picked her up and carried her through the waiting room to the last exam room. Room 6.
I have been to room 6. It is the room at the end of the building with a door that you can escape through if you have to euthanize your pet. The door that saves you from walking back through the watiing room and direclty to your car. I've been there with my cat Mocha. As much as I talk about death in my day to day life at work I have only ever watched Mocha cross over. That's not counting all the ones I've seen psychically. Those don't really count because I'm very detached. I didn't even see my mom die; she was dead before I got home from work and listened to my voicemail.
But Mocha went to the vet and we were immediately brough to room 6. She left that room wrapped in a blue towel. I left a sobbing mess through the exit door. I can't even say that I LOVED Mocha. She was a cat. She wasn't loving. She wasn't fun. She wasn't really part of the family, but lived unded the bed as a feral cat for her first year here, then only came out at night to sleep on the bed, aged quickly and at the end she was blind and sick. Bringing her to room 6 was the greatest gift I could have given her. But I know that it is not always as simple or as obvious as that.
This week I've done readings for someone who knew she had to help her horse cross but it was the hardest thing she'd ever done. I read a few people who had recently put their dogs down, and also talked to a handful of people about missing animals. Luckily for me I sort of tap out emotionally so I am able to do my job. They also end up feeling much more validated and accepting of the animals transition, which reminds me that I can help people with this process. In the "real world" I know that this can be the most difficult thing people ever go through. I did better dealing with my mothers death than a house mates dog. Crazy. And true.
I know someday I'll be in room 6 with our cat and someday with sophie, the yellow lab who I brought there today. My perspective may have changed by then. But I hope that I am reminded that they live such full lives with us, and that all lives come to an end. For now I'm grateful that they're both healthy and loving. And I know that they have made my crazy little family unit even more special. Tonight I'm sending love and healing to the people who visited room 6. They must have heavy hearts tonight.
|Posted by Sara Moore on 19 November, 2014 at 8:35|
Sometimes when I do a reading a spirit isn't all the way to the other side, which makes it much more challenging for me to "hear" them. In the grey area, their energy isn't as vibrant as it once was or what it could be if they went fully over. I do not believe in hell. We can go through hell on earth, we can die and stay in the space between, or you can find retribution in future lives. That's another discussion all together.
The first time I really noticed someone wasn't all the way in heaven was during my first reading with an amazing older woman. There was light about her that just shined and she was quiet, not giving me many details (which I appreciate) and open to what was coming through. I asked her who the gorgeous young man was. He looked like Addonis. To this day I don't even know his real name! He had golden hair, bronzed body and beautiful muscles. She said it was her son. And then I realized he was sitting outside of heaven with an easel and he was painting it. I was confused.
She said that he had committed suicide, and then pieces started falling into place. He chose to end his life. This allowed the people he knew in this lifetime to learn more about themselves on a soul level. But, he checked out before he had completed all of the lessons he came here for. So that put him in what I refer to as the "homework club" of heaven. You're not being punished. You are, however, given the opportunity to work with your guides to figure out what you had originally come here for, why it was so difficult, and review opportunities you had to "get it." And then you can chose to come back and remap your incarnation to help you develop spiritually or you can stay in homework club until you have figured things out. Then you can go to Heaven.
That being said, some people go straight to heaven because even if they chose to end their life they got what they needed and that traumatic ending was part of someone elses lessons. So why are some other people kind of stuck in the grey area? There are too many reasons for me to list here, but I'll tell you the most common ones that I've seen. People who are busy bodies in life can be the same in the afterlife. They may think, at the time of their death, that they need to stick around and make sure people are doing the right thing or behaving, so to speak. Or they don't want to go. They just want to stay here, sometimes because we beg them to stay. It benefits everyone if you can find a way to fully let them go. And then there are the spirits that just didn't realize they actually died. Those are more of the ghostly energies that I come in contact with.
Are they stuck forever? Nope. I have sent plenty of spirits to the light, and to heaven. You can, too, simply by telling them this isn't home and asking them to go up to the sun or the stars. Tell them to go home. Do this lovingly, firmly and confidently. I imagine a yellow circle about 7 feet above the floor and always to my right. It's a one way "portal" that they can go to and get home. I ask them to go and if they refuse, I do a little bit of negotiating. Most go willingly. If they don't, I may ask their favorite pet to meet them at the light and they always reach out and go in for them! Some look like they're packed for a trip with suitcase in hand, and others run and jump or simply get absorbed into that light.
I'll do another blog on the ways they communicate with us, and ways to make sure you're grounded and protecting your energy. I could talk about this all day but I have readings to do and dead people to chat with!
|Posted by Sara Moore on 14 November, 2014 at 8:25|
Lately I've been hearing songs that seem to be playing just for me. Has that happened to you? I love it! Sometimes during readings loved ones on the other side come through and name the songs they'll be playing, and it always seems to happen. I can't tell you if it's because of awareness they're just more noticed or if they are really showing up. Either way, I like the thought of finding peace through music.
This morning I as I was checking my email and my facebook, I saw a post from a friend from out of state. (Thanks Heather!) It was Mumford and Sons, Sign No More. Here's the link. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvmjuqvlYIU&feature=share
Listen to the words. More importantly see how the tone and sound makes you feel. I LOVE the way it sounds to me. I feel it in my heart and in my belly. I talk a lot about how we are all made of energy, and that energy vibrates, and that certain vibrations can make us feel a certain way or help us release things that are no longer serving us or bring awareness to things that we should address.
Yesterday I wondered what song was in my car CD player, and it happened to be Zac Brown Band. Here's a link to one of the songs, but it's not the one I was looking for. I have no idea what the one I want is called and I suck at searching things on the internet... http://vimeo.com/68748320 ; When I hear this song I hear the deep sounds underylying the voice. It makes me happy! And it also makes me want to sing along. Loud. So I am! Huh. I can type and sing!
So today as you tune in to the radio or put on your favorite music, think about why you love it so much. Or why you are so opposed to some songs and what emotion they evoke. Enjoy!
|Posted by Sara Moore on 13 November, 2014 at 18:45|
It's been years since I have had someone in my life to come home to. A LOT of years, actually! And for the most part I've actually enjoyed the silence or being with my boy Z on my "on" weeks. I've been on the road and very busy the past most of October and I got hom Tuesday night after being in Porland Monday/Tuesday. My kitty Casper decided to join me in the warm house and has been all over me since Wednesday morning.
I know cats are typically the kind of creatures that demand your attention when they want it, irregardless of what you have been focusing on at that moment. Capser is no exception. He's been meeting me at the door, sleeping either right by my head or tucked in by my feet, "helping" me down the stairs, tying to stick his nose into anything that I'm making in the kitchen and throwing himself between me and my laptop. He is my Mr. this week.
Now here's the unfortunate part. I need to go outside and get more firwood for tonight and tomorrow, and he's not going to help me with that. Unelss he joins me outside and gets in the way. Not helpful. He's not going to make my oatmeal or bring me a cup of coffee in bed. He's certainly not going to do the laundry or pack my bag for the upcoming weekends adventures. Nor is he going to cook up the chicken dish I'm already craving for dinner Saturday. And you know what? That's alright.
Now let me tell you why. It's pretty great to feel loved. He loves me unconditionally. He prefers to have a full bowl of food but when it's empty and he's made his point through cringe worthy cries, he forgets that I was a slacker and he throws his love at me. Yes, I said Throws. He is such a little boy but he also can stretch out and take up the whole table or bed. And he lands with a thud when he tosses himself onto his side so I can rub his creamsicle colored belly. It's awesome.
For now, I'm content with the love fest as it is. Someday maybe I'll open the door for a human. Maybe. I'm smiling as I say that, because it's a new thought but an intriguing one! (I just reread this and realized I didn't include the true reasons you want to be with someone you love. Interesting. I'm a work in progress.)
|Posted by Sara Moore on 7 November, 2014 at 19:20|
Fridays are "date" night with my son and me. He gets home from school, we hang out, then watch a movie on Netflix and eat dinner in the living room. That's a big deal since we usually eat dinner at the table every night and I rarely watch TV. Well, tonight we watched the Croogs. And I cried. I did.
My mom used to cry all the time and I thought it was hysterical! It's not so funny when you're the mom and your kid is saying, "Oh my God mom. Are you crying? Seriously!" And then again, it really is quite funny, because it's just so bizarre.
Have you ever watched The Croogs? Its animated and about a cave man family. The daughter falls in love with a uoung cave man who is adventurous and wise. Her father gets jealous, and then in the end they make up and the father and daughter hug. Right there was enough to make me cry. But THEN the father has to save the family and does it without regret and with the help of her new guy. That's about the time the tears started. It wasn't until the end that my water works really starte fowing, but it was ridicuous.
Z looked at me and gave me the "Mom, are you SERIOUS" look. But then it got even better. He lauged his ass off at me. I used to do the same to my mom. I went to the bathroom shortly thereafter, and he yelled in to ask me if was done crying. I wasn't, but almost. This is where I was reminded about how much I absolutely love my boy. He was concerned, amused and curious. Which then enoucraged me to tell him about how often Grammy Mary Ellen would cry. This was pretty much all the time.
I shared some stories with him and realized I'm turning into my mom. You know what? I'm totally OK with that. I love that Z gets to see me show emotion. I love that I watched The Croods and told Z that someday I wanted true love, like the daughter and the young cave man had. I love that I cried, and that no matter how I tried to hide it he totlaly called me out on my sniffly suiffled sobs. I'm also glad that tonight we'll be sleeping in a warm house, and that fire is something we have not had to figure out in this lifetime. I'm so glad I'm a Moore, or a Beagen. And that the Croods are just a show that I shared with my almost 9 year old son on our family Friday night. I'm pretty psyched that this is our life.
|Posted by Sara Moore on 5 November, 2014 at 17:05|
I was thinking about writing a blog the other night while I was making the best lentil soup in the world. Really. It's amazing. But I almost cut my thumb off and thank God my fingernail stopped the blade of the knife before I added an enexpected ingredient! Thumbkin lentil soup just wasn't what I was going for! I was going to write a blog about my wedding. Not the one I had in this lifetime. One I had many lifetimes ago. The one that I was wearing a corset, a gorgeous dress made of pure spun silk, in an ancient castle with the rooms heated by fire places and the horses outside clearly excited just because they could feel the high energy of a day worth celebrating.
And then I almost cut my thumb off, so I didn't really get to type it up.
The next day I almost cut the top of my pinky finger off when I opened a can of wet cat food. Which, by the way, I'm pretty disgusted by but my kitty is so skinny and he loves being outside! So I was alright with bulking the poor little guy up. And then SLICE! He's had dry ever since.
So right now I'm listening to Pandora Radio as my son and his friend play upstairs. The song All About the Bass came on and I blasted it. He stuck his head out and said, "Really, Mom?" Yes. Really. I love this song. Why? I love that it talks about curves being sexy. I love that it has an upright bass sound to it. I love the sound- period. Here is a version that I think is fabulous, especially once she gets past the first few lines.
I hope this link works. Have you ever heard a song, or watched a movie with a certain time period, and thought that you should have been there? I could have been in that wedding I was telling you about before. I often feel very out of place in this lifetime. I like watching Interview with a Vampire because I'm pretty sure I've been there. Well, minus the vampire stuff.... But that time just makes my heart long to go back.
For now I'll be grateful I have a wood stove that I can light when my house gets chilled. I can go to my fridge when I'm hungry. I know that my son will always get medical care, otherwise I can't even wrap my head around the consequences.
That being said, I'm happy to be here. I'm all about that bass.
|Posted by Sara Moore on 1 November, 2014 at 9:25|
Yesterday I was doing dishes (I don't use my dishwasher for some reason) and I was looking at my leaf covered lawn. I have a lot of converstaions in my head, and I heard "The grass is always greener." And I thought to myself, "Is it?" This turned into quite a chat, let me tell ya!
Yes. The grass may be greener in someone elses yard, but did they have to BUY that grass? Do they USE the grass? Do they ENJOY the grass? Sometimes those really green lawns are a lot of maintenance. And if you're not enjoying it or using it, is it really worth it? It is if you care what the neighbors think.
I have an environmental degree, so I debated the pros and cons of an unkept lawn. No fertilizer = less toxic, less eutrification in surrounding streams and ponds, etc. Bad lawn = more ants, skunks and moles.
Happy heart + bad lawn = there is hope!
I did rake some of my leaves yesterday and will finish the rest Monday. It has to be done, and it's very satisfying to me when I look back and I can see the "grass." I can tell you that no one on my road has ever looked at my lawn and said "the grass it greener over at Sara's!" Nope. Maybe next summer I'll get some good soil and spread some grass seeds. But if I do, and when it's all grown and freshly mowed, I'm going to play on every inch of that grass.
I have gorgotten what my point was or if I even have one. Soon there will be snow on the grass and this whole phrase will be obsolete until it thaws. After rereading this, I do have a thought to end with. How green is your grass? Do you enjoy it, or do you just like to have it. Just because. How can you begin to enjoy your grass?
|Posted by Sara Moore on 27 October, 2014 at 7:45|
Wow. I had more crazy dreams last night! I have been on the road all weekend and was so excited to go to sleep last night! First of all, I didn't fall right to sleep. That was frustrating. Then when I was zonked, my brain decided to have a party and process all the stuff I've been thinking about. In no particular order, here are some snipits of my adventure (while my body tried to sleep):
Dreamt of 2 skunks. A woman knew they were there, but didn't mind them and just tried to stay out of the line of fire. Gross.
Dreamt of having dead spiders on me. Mostly just the legs. I was in a barn or something and I didn't think I got bitten, but then I looked at the inside of my right elbow and it was swelling. Huh. I knew what the legs looked like and was wondering how I'd identify them based on just the legs.
I was at someone's house and there was dog poop on the rug and a lot of us were there. I hadn't seen it until I realized that everyone had just walked through the shit instead of picking it up. So gross. There was a woman there who was just flat out obnoxious and I was about to post it on facebook, then was much nicer to her when I told her that she was extremely loud and very inapporproate. She thanked me.
Was somewhere and an old colleage was being told that people have been reacting to her anger, and that it was really her problem, not theirs. She was so mad and near tears. The woman telling her had called me over for to back up what she was saying. She was so frustrated that she wasn't hearing her. I told her it's really not her job to make the messages to sink in, just to relay them.
I had to deal with scheduling changes. Someone told me that the place I'm working at Weds had to change the schedule. As far as I know, that was just in my dream. I was pissed. And I was never going to go back if that was the first day and how it was going to go.
Here was the really cool part of the dream. I should have started here; if you're still reading I'm impressed! Some people wanted me to feel the energy in a building. It had cathedral ceilings, post and beam interior and it was under renovation. There were a few spots with the plastic sheeting and it wasn't very light in there. I walked in and looked up. It was like watching Casper the friendly ghost in my mind; I could see/feel all this energy! And it wasn't scary, just super busy. Then I felt my hair get messed with. I was with 2 women, and I said, "Hey! Watch this." And the ghosts started to pull my hair up from the sides and it felt really funky. Still wasn't afraid. Then I was about to clear the energy in the room and all of a sudden this blue ball of energy floated around, landing in between my hands.
It was awesome! I could feel it pulsing and the vibration of it. I decided to start pulling on the energy, too, because I knew that whatever it was was giving and receiving that pure blue light. I handed it to one of the other women and she passed it back to me. Then I took a deep breath and blew it out the window. It disappeared.
I think there was even more than that but I have to go to work now... Tonight I better have a quiet night! I feel like I added an extra day to my week after all that!
|Posted by Sara Moore on 23 October, 2014 at 11:45|
I have been trying to write a blog about this for a few days, but every time I started whatever I had in my head just wouldn't come out. When I write it's like I don't think; it just flows, similar to when I give a reading. I'm feeling the flow so I'm going to try it again!
Background. I was raised Catholic, my mom would drag us to church to the Saturday 4pm mass unless the Patriots were playing on Sunday and Father Hudgins was preaching. He liked to watch the games so he let us out early. We'd go on Sundays if that was the case. I just remembered that there were a lot of times my mom would have us sneak out right after communion. LOL! Anyway, I didn't like what the priests had to say, I didn't like the rules, I still don't like weddings or funerals that use the word repent, sinner, hell, or that imply that we failed in any way during our lifetime and the only way we'll get into heaven is if the prayers are good enough to open the gates.
More recent. When my son was born we didn't baptize him. I was taught that you do that so that if they die their soul will go to heaven. I believe that his soul was born perfect, and if he was going "home" or to heaven he had a free pass. If I was closer with my family, maybe I would have done it for the party. I can tell you I only got confirmed because of the party and gifts. When I told the priest that in my fianal meeting before the event he acted like he didn't hear it and changed the subject.
Last year. I took Z to his best friends first communion. We were sitting in the church and he felt god touch his neck. He jumped, and gave me quite a look and told me so! I told him that god wanted him to sit quietly. Afterwards, we had quite the conversation. Why did only some of the kids get first communion? I told him because some people believe by going to church and getting baptized and communion they are going to heaven, but if you don't you aren't. He said "That's silly! I'm going to heaven." Yup. Then we went to the celebration at the friends house after. This is where his brain started churning.
On the way home, Z said, "So, I go to the church and do that thing they did, then I get a party and gifts?" Hmmmmm. There's a little more to it than that. "I want to do it for the party!" My kind of kid. But I told him you had to go to school or ccd to do that. He said "Nevermind." When he asks about God I tell him that God is all around us and within each and every one of us. He knows that. He prays to angels, and it works! He has always loved looking at my angel cards and Michael was always the one he'd pull out and stare at. He knows that he big one, Angel Michael, always has his back.
He often asks why do people go to church? I tell him that some people like to go because they think God lives there (in spirit) and he can hear them better there. I've offered to take him and so far he's said no thank you. But he does love funerals, which is another story all together! But you know what? My kid has a pretty good grasp on this God guy. He's not afraid of him, or thinking that he was born a sinner. He asks me all sorts of questions about him and I do my best to answer them. I can't remember all the bible stories, but I'm trying to piece it all together as it comes up!
Here's what I've been really trying to say to you. You have a piece of God in you. You have a light that shines in you, through you and around you. It is divine. You can ask this higher power (I use God because people usually know who or what I'm talking about, although all of our versions of it may be different) to help you shine but remember that you were BORN to shine. It's inherent. Turn it on!
Finally, I want to tell you that you can make religion or God or the Universe or Spirit anything you want it to be. If the way you've been taught doesn't resonate with you but you like some aspects of it, take those and put them in your pocket. You shouldn't be living in FEAR that you're going to hell or being judged all the time. You should be living with LOVE knowing that that is what you are really worthy of, and how you treat others allows them to feel this love as well.
I think I just opened the door for another blog post about how you can make your own religious beliefs. Sort of. Stay tuned for that one! I feel the need to do the obligatory "I'm sorry if this offended you." It is not my intent. It's merely my thoughts on paper, coming from my heart. My views are subject to change, and for now this is what feels right for me.
|Posted by Sara Moore on 22 October, 2014 at 19:00|
So I put it out there on Facebook that I needed a suggestion for a blog topic. I kept trying to write about God and I kept getting blocked. I did 4 readings today and the last 2 gave me fodder for that post, but I'll save it for another day. The questions posed were how do you know your dog is happy and how our emotional energy impacts animal behavior and happiness. Great questions!
Dogs tell me all kinds of things! Things from crazy to basic to spiritual to profound to ridiculous. For example, one dog today said that it loved how the 6 year old in the house always touched her belly, and that she loved the energy that was conveyed during those times. Another dog said that it wanted a blue collar with that reddish pink color on it. Do you know what I'm talking about? The two colors that when they're combined or near each other they are almost electrified? The owner knew what I was talking about! A dog that had passed wanted the owner to know that it didn't feel pain at the end, although it's body was very much filled with cancer.
How is that possible? Well, sometimes when a spirit is crossing over they go to the other side while the physical body is dying. As that is happening we are going through a grieving process or finding a way to let them go, but they are alright. I can explain that to you in better detail if you want me to!
How do you know they're happy? Most of the animals I know have been very happy and grateful to be a part of your life. The ones that aren't make it pretty clear by their behavior. When you're at your wits end and call me to understand an annoying behavior they get the chance to tell you what you need to know about YOURSELF or what they want you to change so that they are happier. Or, so that you are put back on your path. What the heck does that mean? Good question. I believe that we are all here to learn something about ourselves or a higher level of energy. That is why we chose to be born and come here. We are always presented with opportunities to face those lessons. When we ignore them, the universe/higher power/whatever word makes you feel good steps in and tires to get our attention.
So. If your dog is constantly scratching or has chronic hot spots, what's going on in your life? Are you happy? Are you doing what feels good for you? Are you picking at things that you should really leave alone? Are you crawling out of your skin wishing you were somewhere else?
Is your dog filled with anxiety? How are you? Are you walking through life confidently, or always wondering if you're doing the right thing.
Does your react defensively to other dogs? How are you with people? Are you always expecting to be judged? What age did this start with you and is it still a coping skill that is serving you well? If you change your expectation, how does your dogs behavior shift?
All of that being said, it's not your FAULT that your dog may be dealing with some of these issues. It is your opportunity to realize that they often mirror us, and you get to thank them and live with more awareness. That is a gift, and that is what they have come here to teach you. They are not here to judge you, or to critique you. They are here to move you forward on your journey. They are a gift! I'm guessing if you're reading my blog you already know that.
|Posted by Sara Moore on 21 October, 2014 at 13:45|
When's the last time you went back through your facebook posts to see whats on there? I just did. And you know what? I had a great summer! I loved looking at the pictures (since now we don't really ever print them out and they all live in cyberspace) and reading the comments. Yes. I'm at the office "getting work done." I took a little break and I'm so glad I did!
Most of the posts from this summer were of me and Z at the lake, fishing, camping or about the Zach-isms that he comes out with when my brain just isn't fully awake or when I'm not really expecting it. Here's an example of one that wasn't posted. Yesterday I picked him up from school and the first thing he mentions is that he needs pennies. A LOT of them. I asked why, and he said that 195 babies die every day (I just made that number up, but he had the statistics) and that by raising pennies last year they saved 150 babies from dying. So it was REALLY important that he brings some in.
If this post inspires you to donate the the babies, let me know and I'll take them off your hands.
It is a good thing to look back and see where you've been to get your bearings for where you're going. What things brought you joy? What people make you light up and feel loved? What memories are now embedded in your soul that are really help define who you are? Remember them. Honor them. And talk about them.
Z and I have quite a roller coaster of a mother/son relationship. He's strong willed, loving, intense, ridiculously attached to structure and flips if he can feel a tag on his shirt or the lines on his socks. But looking at some of the pictures I see total joy in both of our faces. I'm glad I just took a few minutes to go back and be reminded of just how lucky I am.
|Posted by Sara Moore on 21 October, 2014 at 0:25|
Why do we resist change so much? Is it out of fear? fear of what? Is it because the devil you know is better than the one you don't? Or is it just because change can mean a lot of work, or that hearts are on the line. Change can be disruptive. Maybe we don't want to deal with it because we don't have time. I smile when I write that, because all we have is time!!!!
I think that I do a good job at embracing changes in my life. I am not afraid of leaving jobs for new ones, taking the risk of opening my own business, getting divorced (I'm only doing that once by the way), or changing my hair style or color. Actually, it surpises me how many people really worry about their hair! Before I moved to the White Mountains in 1998 I was running the Dover Pools. I was young, had a great salary and benefits, loved what I did and I actually drove to the mountains every week to ski or hike. When my best friend got a teaching job at Kennett, he said I should just move with him.
How the hell was I going to do that? I didn't have a job lined up and had never been to North Conway other than to get a tattoo years ago. That was an epic adventure in itself but I'll save that for another time. As much fun as the thought of living where I played was intriguing, it didn't really seem like an option. Until I got my annual performance review. I had glowing remarks and comments except for one. Sometimes I was inaccessible because I was in the pool. Um, I was running a POOL and teaching lifeguards, swim instructors, water aerobics and supervising a lot of people. There was really no way to bring a phone in there with me. So I knew right then what I was going to do.
First, I called the manager out on the fact that the town had instituted a cap on what percent raise we could get, so he found a flaw to justify the lower number. And then I said, "You know what? I think I quit." He was STUNNED. He told me that absolutely wasn't what he wanted me to do, but then I had this huge shit eating grin on my face because in that instant I got EXCITED to move! Now here's the cool thing about this life. A lot of times, if you jump a net will appear.
So I called Cranmore Fitness Center in North conway to see if they needed any swim instructors or personal trainers. Turns out they did, but they were also hiring a program supervisor. I jokingly told them to sign me up and I interviewed and got the job a week later. With benefits. That is unheard of in the Valley! I jumped, I landed exactly where I was meant to be. And I did it without fear. Fear only would have blocked me and messed things up.
I tell you this to get you thinking about your life. What areas feel great? What doesn't? Why haven't you made changes to make it better? What emotion is holding the reigns? What does it look like for you to be happy? How bad do you want it? Because if you don't really care, then status quo may be perfect for you. Or maybe you really are lovin' life! To those of you who are I say high five and tell the world how good it is! Maybe you'll inpire someone else to jump.
|Posted by Sara Moore on 14 October, 2014 at 20:10|
I think when you get hate mail it means you've made it! I can't really put the email I got today in the hate mail category, but someone was clearly ticked that I suggested that a listener (I was on 94.9 WHOM) let their cat outside. I appreciate feedback of any kind. It helps me learn and grow. Sometimes feedback is biting, sometimes it's not fun to read, sometimes you get it and think, "Wow. That makes no sense to me!"
This email had a little bit of each of those categories. I totally understand that when we let an animal go outside we increase it's risk of becoming part of a food chain. I had friends, years ago, who kept getting new cats when the old ones were hit by cars on their busy road. I was outraged! Another friend would have cats disappear, probably to fisher cats, I have always had cats that were both indoor and outdoor creatures.
I am an indoor and outdoor creature. Tell me to stay inside on the first warm day of spring and I'll find a way to get out. Tell me that some of the activities I enjoy could cost me my life, and it's a risk I'll weigh and there's a really good chance I'll take the risk. My kitty, Casper, was a feral cat. I adopted him before he froze to death in a cement floored garage two Octobers ago. I had him neutered, so he can't reproduce. I have kept him up to dates on his shots and I LOVE when he decides he wants to spend a night indoors with us. Those nights are far and few between during the warm summer months. He'll come around, eat, say hello, leave me some dead rodent gifts, then sit blissfully on the deck or disappear into the woods.
When he comes home I cradle him like a baby and can tell by the smell of his paws where he has been wandering. Sometimes he smells like pine pitch. Or horse barn. Or dirt. Or like cologne of the creepy old man who lives next door. Either way, I celebrate each time that he has returned. I'm also psyched that he's getting to live his life and honor his wild roots. Even when he's inside, he chooses to scale my son's bunkbed and tucks himself into a corner beside the pillow. I can only imagine the fun he's having when he's outside!
So before I go, I'll paste the link that tells you why you should keep your cat indoors. I honestly don't care what you chose to do. I would like to think that you are wise enough to neuter or spay your cat so that we aren't contributing to the overpopulation problem. I am all for being passionate about a cause. Right now I'd rather fight the ridiculous grocery prices in the MWV than argue if my cat should be kept inside or not.
Enjoy and goodnight! Here's the link:
|Posted by Sara Moore on 1 October, 2014 at 0:15|
Last night was spectacular! I stayed with Kathleen Stone, the woman I'm sharing an office with in Portland. We chatted as she cooked a delicious dinner and I was reminded that my life is just so much fun right now! Yes, there have been some really frustrating things happen lately. My washing machine is dead. The inside of my car door tore off after getting stuck on the rubber seal around that door frame. My son and I have had some brutal disagreements. But all in all, Life is Good.
After dinner we walked to the ocean, which is less than a mile from her house. We both kicked off our shoes and RAN down chilly sand to the water. It was low tide, and as much as this is normal behavior for me, it's not for everyone. She ran the whole way, too and we both hiked up our pants (in my case my skirt) and just sood knee deep as waves crashed all around us.
It was awesome. There was a mist blowing in our faces, the sound of the waved drowned out all other sounds, and we had these huge shit eating grins on our faces. We were the only ones out there. Maybe because it was almost 10pm? I love going under water to release energy and to ground myself. Last night I screamed a few things into the wind. I let go of some things, I let the wind know I am ready for some other things, and even typing that now I just had a huge sigh of contentment.
I do believe I have found my people again. And a year ago I didn't even know I was missing them... Last night just felt so perfect and safe and fun!!!!
Ok. That's all I have to say about that. But just so you know, it's not too late to stick your feet in the ocean before the snow flies. I'd highly recommend it actually!
|Posted by Sara Moore on 24 September, 2014 at 15:30|
Have you ever gone somewhere and you know you've been there before? Maybe not in this lifetime, but BEFORE. That happened to me today. I was out at Belgian Meadow Farm ( https://www.facebook.com/pages/Belgian-Meadows-Farm/219882018088974" target="_blank">Belgian Meadows Farm ) in Lebanon, ME. Last week I visited Ruth Caron, who is an amazing woman and artist who has horses and dogs the size of horses. She also happens to make delicious pumpkin whoopie pies. We had been talking about combining her talents (which include felting, pottery, painting and so much more) with my psychic stuff to help people find peace and healing. Steve, the owner of Belgian Meadow Farms happened to be haying the huge field across from her house and he came by for some whoopie. Whoopie pie, that is. (So much fun to say whoopie!)
So today Ellen, Ruth and I met at Steves farm to talk about doing workshops and events there and I chatted with the horses. He has a cabin in the woods that has an old wood fired cook stove. He made a bed frame out of smaller trees, there is no electricity and there are lanterns for light. Just outside the door to the cabin is a fire pit and beyond that the trail winds back around the farm, past a horse cemetery and into the rolling fields. I stepped back in time. I could have stayed there forever.
Here's the thing. About 12 years ago, while during a reiki session, I tried past life regression. One of my lives was out in the west in a covered wagon. We were leaving a white farmhouse that was surrounded by the greenest grass I've ever seen. It was just me and my husband, and as we left I looked back and could see through open front door of the house, past the giant wood/cook stove, and out the back door. We had no children and he raised horses. We had no family. And we were leaving a place that I did love.
I just looked at the website for this farm and there is a picture of a covered wagon. I can imagine being back there... Now here's where it gets weird. Just before we left today, I had this image of the kitchen in the main house. I pointed and asked if the kitchen was "there." I described it. Steve led me in, but before I even walked in the house I started welling up. I do again as I type this. It's the strangest thing! We walked in and it is the kitchen I have seen in my head. I've seen Z sitting at the kitchen table doing homeword as I cook. I have seen someone (still no idea who) coming in from the yard using the door just off to the left. I felt like I was home.
I have seen this kitchen in my head when I think of where I'll land someday. I've also been in the middle of readings, opened my eyes and fully expected to see that room around me. Which is just a bizarred thing! Imagine having this psychic party in your head, which is actually a party within a party because not only did I have to open my eyes to get out of the reading, but then again to get out of this kitchen that I until today I'd ever been in in this lifetime. Follow that? Crazy.
So what does all this mean? I have absolutely no idea. But I know that I will be doing some amazing things at Belgian Meadow Farm. I know that standing there with Ruth, Ellen and Steve I felt reconnected with my posse of many lifetimes. Huh. Even saying that makes me teary. I think I just found my new home away from home. And the energy that is there is something to be shared and experienced. Stay tuned for details on this one and definitely keep Saturday, November 1st open. I'll be doing a workhops, readings and leading a ceremony of sorts on honoring your life and transitions within it. And yes, we'll be in the cabin and hot chocolate with be simmering on the stove above. I might even cry again.
|Posted by Sara Moore on 22 September, 2014 at 8:55|
I have a few recurring dreams. One is about basements, which I hate and always have, and the other is about crossing water on a floating wooden bridge. The bridge is always right on the surface of the water and there are wooden slats that you have to carefully step on. If you're out of balance you'll fall in. Usually when I have this dream I HATE it! I KNOW I'm going to fall in, and I wake myself up before it happens.
Last night I was walking through my dream on an all too familiar bridge. My son was by my side, and I was aware that I wasn't freaking out, but I was very aware that I COULD freak out at any point. But I kept on going. There were other people on the same maze of walkways and every time I passed them I hoped they wouldn't affect us. They didn't.
My life is pretty similar to my dreams, although the walkways are all of the roads I travel in life. I am moving foward with balance. I'm aware that I could easily step sideways and knock myself off track, but I'm chosing not to. Fear is not the emotion that I'm going to let rule my brain. It can be there for emergency situations with a surge of adreneline, but for the day to day life I'm going to be confident. Safe. Happy. Grateful. Blessed. Protected.
I am going to put those creaky wooden slats back on the land, where I can get better footing. And if I do fall off, I can simply walk to where I was trying to go. It was pretty cool to wake up knowing that my dreams reminding me that I really am OK.
|Posted by Sara Moore on 20 September, 2014 at 20:15|
When I have a long day at an event everyone always asks me if I'm exhausted. No, not usually, because it's not my energy that's being used to do a reading. I pull it from a higher source and only my voice is tired. Just like any job, do it a few days in a row or have a busy week and yes I'm tired! But not because I'm depleted energetically.
This week has been a week on the road. Monday I was in Portland at Leapin' Lizards, then met Kathleen Stone at our new Portland office, stayed at a slightly shady but affordable hotel, was on the radio from 6am to 9am, did readings in my car until 11am, had a business lunch,, drove home, did more readings. Slept in my bed. Wednesday I was at a horse barn in Rochester, NH, then in Biddeford for a metaphysical fair that evening, and drove home. Thursday I did errands, mowed the lawn, watched Z's first football game, packed and went to bed. Late. Friday I had readings in the am, then back to Biddeford for a workshop on Letting Go of Grief, then to a friends house to sleep. Today and tomorrow I'm at a Newfie Fundays event in Eliot, ME, and I got home this evening covered in drool but tired and happy.
Yesterday when I set up my 10x10 canopy tent I realized the frame is cracking and this is probably the last show I'll be able to do with it. I think it was 5 years ago when I first set it up in my yard to see how it worked. I was so excited for this new adventure and I had no idea what to expect at my first dog show in Scarborough. I was nervous about where it was, where I'd park, how I'd be received, what a dog show was like (I'd never seen one), and overall just had no idea what to expect. I set it up with my little boy in tow the night before. A friend came in the morning to take him so I could work and suddenly I was an animal communicator.
I've been back to that event every year since and love it! I've also done shows in Westford, MA, Cumberland and Union, ME, Rhode Island and Vermont. I tried going to horse shows but wasn't well received. I have brought my booth to the New England Home Show (not successful by any means there and it was an expensive learning curve), events for Lucky Pup Rescue, the Animal Refuge League and the Animal Welfare Society. I think the cracks in the frame were from a huge gust of wind at an event in Damariscotta a few years ago. That was intense and I was one of the few who's tent didn't get destroyed! My tent has been used at a wedding I officiated and for someone's party. It has certainly been worth the $140 I bought it for!
Today it was fun to have people come for a reading and say they heard me on the radio or were referred by a friend. When I think of where I started and where I am today, I know that I've earned the respect of some of the biggest skeptics and many vets are supportive of what I do. It's been a while since I've had a week like this with most of the days being lived out of a suitcase! I am looking forward to my own bed tomorrow night and a week with my now 8 year old son. One more thing that is totally different from when I started. Since the spring Sophie (the 9 year old yellow lab we got when I was pregnant) is on Z's schedule, meaning I get them both every other week. You know what that means? Now I spend money on HER when I'm at shows!
Today I picked up a bright orange collar and someone gave me some home made treats for her. I guess I've come a long way baby!
|Posted by Sara Moore on 18 September, 2014 at 19:15|
When you are living your life in the way that best resonates with or serves your soul's purpose, things start clicking. Let me tell you, I've been pushing rope uphill for years, as my friend Jimmy would say. It has been clear to me that I'm supposed to be doing energy work, combining my ability to do psychic readings with the animals and their humans. I love teaching and I think I make this "vodoo" stuff less creepy and I teach everyone that it's all available to them if they want it. Maybe they can't seem to get the messages the way that I do, but I want to tell the world that we're all worthy of abundance, of love, of success, of God or whomever it is you talk to when you are about to take a test or need to get somewhere on time. That higher power that exists around and within all of us.
It's very funny to me that I'm telling you about love and abundance. I'm only finally starting to understand that I, too, am worthy of that. And now that I'm following my heart and surrounding myself with fantastic like minded people doors are opening. Literally! I am opening an office in Portland with Kathleen Stone, a kick ass psychic and healer, and in North Conway with Chelsea Latham, one of the most amazing women I've ever met. (Chelsea, I'm not just saying that to see if you actually read my blogs.) I have a biweekly radio gig with Sandra and Teddy on WHOM. And it's FUN! I love going to work these days!
What I'm also learning is that I definitely asked for all of this and totally put it out to the universe that I'm ready. I did a ceremony of sorts to honor those who have come into my life, but to let some of them go to make room for what I want and to allow us all to live our journeys independently. They served a purpose, some huge and some seemingly insignificant. A week later a friend of mine did an angel healing on me and I got to process a huge amount of stuff and beliefs that I've buried under layers of fat this summer. Right after that session is when things picked up steam and I've been holding on tight and enjoying the ride ever since.
The day I said yes to jumping and opening offices and hiring Ellen, I began to see huge signs of validation that this is exactly where I'm supposed to be. I've crammed 6 months worth of work into two weeks, but it feels great! A year ago I would have frozen in my tracks and gone right back to my comfort zone of running to the edge of the cliff and hitting the brakes. That was something I got really good at but not once have I thought to do that since letting go of my old self.
Old Sara was a lot of fun. New Sara is a lot of fun but is really looking forward to stability, abundance, vacations, play, visibility, organic produce if I feel like it because I have enough money to fuel myself with good food. And because I know I'm worthy of it. As I sit here typing that my ears are going a bit wonky. That's usually my sign that someone is around me, and I can tell instantly it's my great grandfather. For some reason he likes to show up. He worked at a Navy yard I believe, and for a while the room where I put the hope chest he made my grandmother would smell like tobacco smoke. That was when I wasn't making the best business decisions. It was like he was trying to get me to see the door that would open this all up to me, but I wasn't ready.
I'm being validated that I'm headed in the right direction. Which is funny, since I get lost even with a gps. Even happened last night when I took 95 South instead of North. But I trusted that I would get where I needed and it was ok. So I ask you to take a look at your life. Where are you? Are you happy? What do you want to do? What do you LOVE to do? What's stopping you? Fear? That can freeze a lot of us in our tracks. Trust that you're divinely guided to do what your heart craves and longs for. It is possible. And it feels wonderful.
|Posted by Sara Moore on 16 September, 2014 at 19:40|
On my drive to Porltand yesterday I thought back to where I learned to do everything for myself. There are a lot of examples, ranging from family dynamics to my goat like Capricorn stubborness. But there were times a child or young adult that I wished that someone had helped me.
I went to my high school guidance counselor to get information about colleges. She handed me that 1,000 page book that listed all the colleges in the US. That was NOT helpful. Then when my SAT scores weren't showing my the best of three attempts I made (happened to be the first one I took) I went to her for help. She dialed the 800 number and handed me the phone. I resolved it myself and figured out they had my social security number wrong. So pretty much she let me use her office. And so my independence was fostered.
I have been managing my business on my own. In the beginning I started it while I had another full time job! I was the one who bought my supplies, did my marketing, my website, my revenue/expenses, etc. Oh, did I mention that I was also divorced and with a little boy midweek? Yeah. If I can pull that off I can do anything.
And therein lies the problem. It's not about the fact that I CAN do it all. I don't WANT to do it all! Enter Ellen Ames. She's my new business partner and teaching me that I don't HAVE to do it all. I feel totally confident in her ability to support me and help me focus on what I love doing. Tomorrow we're going to get a new bank account for Enlightened Horizons. It will be in both of our names, since she's handling the billing and if I need something she can get it for me. WHAT? That brings a huge smile to my face. I didn't even have a joint checking account with my husband. Now he's an ex. Go figure.
I think I'm learning that it's good to be independent and confident, but that it really does take faith and trust and exhaustion to let your gates swing open and build a team to help you achieve your true potential.
Thank you to all of you who did help me in the beginning and now. I still know that even though I was the hamster on the wheel you were all the ones cheering me on. This hamster is going to bed.